I was over the moon like a gay nursery rhyme cow when I received a 3DS from Nintendo last week. What a lucky bastard. However. There has been a distinct lack of 3DS games arriving in the office to play. So I haven't played any actual 3DS games on it yet.
If this had been any other new electronic game-playing device, the absence of actual games to play could have been a disastrous turn of events. But not 3DS. Despite having nothing to shove into its slender little game slot, I have fallen in love with my 3DS. How has Nintendo's latest dual-screened lovely seduced me without the added allure of any card-based software? Like this...
The vast array of LEDs is beautiful and impressive
Don't underestimate the sex appeal of a good LED. Would Sony still have shifted over 150 million PlayStation 2s if the console didn't have that kickass blue dot on the eject button? Probably not. And 3DS has five LEDs. FIVE. Working on the theory that the number of LEDs is directly proportional to the popularity of the hardware, I'm going to stick my neck out and say that 3DS is going to be big-time popular.
Above: You can never have enough LEDs
Each of the 3DS light sources are beautiful in their own way. They are colourful. They blink. They are informative. They flash. Often there's more than one on at a time. And noticing that the green notification LED is illuminated is very exciting. However, the best LED is the one on the lid. It indicates when the camera is in use. It's the most lovely ultraviolet pink you ever did put your eyes upon. I love it.
Oh my God the hinge motion is Nintendo's smoothest yet
Open. Close. Open. Close. Mmmmm. Open. Close. Open. Close. Of all the hinge operations I have experienced over the years with various foldable Nintendo devices, 3DS is without doubt the smoothest and most satisfying yet. I'm so impressed that I'm planning to do an article based on this often overlooked physical aspect of handheld gaming. It'll be called 'Most Sexy, Satisfying Openings in Gaming'. Or something like that.
Above: This is opening and closing at its most sexual
You can feel the quality in your hands every time you swing open the lid and it gently 'thunks' into the playing position. And the closing action is every bit as tactile and delicious. It's hard to explain. But I don't think anyone that appreciates these kinds of things will be disappointed. With 3DS Nintendo has taken lid interaction to a hitherto unknown level of satisfaction. Open. Close. Beautiful.
How could anyone not love that face?
Who doesn't like to think of their inanimate possessions as being actual things with personalities and faces and maybe even voices? Probably no one. I'm pretty sure it's why Nintendo has put a 'charging cradle' in the box that makes 3DS look cute and adorable whenever it is docked upon said cradle. It looks like Pikachu. See here:
Above: Quite clearly the 3DS has a face and it looks like Pikachu. Accident? I don't think so
Aw. Look. It's all smiling and happy. Before I got the 3DS I thought having to frequently charge the battery (which does require lots of frequent charging) would be a right pain in the assholes. But I actually look forward to it now just so I can see that cheerful little face. I almost feel bad when I de-cradle it. It's my little pet that plugs into the mains because its battery life is shit. But that's OK, because I love it.
It sparkles like unicorn hooves
The finish on my aqua blue 3DS is lovely. The lid is opaque and when the light catches it just right it sparkles. Actually sparkles. But it's very subtle - I didn't even notice it at first. I was sitting on the crapper enjoying the honest pleasure of the hinge motion when - BAM! - glitter sparkles all up in my face. This is a radical departure from my black DS Lite and I love the addition of sparkle.
Above: It was hard to get a picture of the 3DS sparkling. So I did a photoshop of a unicorn with sparkling 3DS hooves instead
I love my black DS Lite and I still use it because DS games look better on it than they do on 3DS. But my DS Lite doesn't sparkle. Not a massive deal you might think, but when you've held something in your hands that sparkles, it's hard to go back. The 3DS is an amazing piece of handheld technology that sparkles on the inside so it makes perfect sense that it should sparkle on the outside as well. Sparkles!
All the stuff that's already on it is actually, like, really good fun
Even with a completely vacant card hole, my 3DS has given me what can best be described as 'a lot' of fun. I was expecting the pre-installed software to be a load of old pony. But I was totally wrong. Face Raiders might be a bit rubbish, but everything else is top notch Nintendo. I don't really do instruction manuals. And I'm glad I don't - finding all the cool stuff on 3DS has been a voyage of happy discovery.
Above: This illustrates how much I love my 3DS even though I haven't played any actual 3DS games on it yet
The camera, the augmented reality stuff, StreetPass, even the 3DS Sound app kept me and the kids entertained for hours recording fart noises and playing them back through a budgie filter. In fact, if you're getting a 3DS, I would strongly recommend spending some quality time together and making friends with it before you stuff in that first game card. That's what I've spent more than a week doing and that's why I love my 3DS even though I've not had any actual 3DS games to play yet.
March 22, 2011
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